Dear self,
why are you so inexperienced at life? You have never had anyone ever, and yet the first person to physically approach you and ignore whatever metaphorical leprosy from which you are supposedly suffering you cling to. Relentlessly. Like a limpet. Even though they are just a friend. Stop being so pathetic, stop exuding loneliness and self pity, stop crying and listening to Joy Division and do something about your life. Either that, or end it. Just quit being so incessantly miserable for no apparent reason.
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