Speaking of complete strangers, regardless of their age, strangers always seem to want to be rude and cruel to me. Yesterday this kid of about 9 or 10 I'm guessing started making rude gestures at me when I was riding my bike with my family in the countryside yesterday, so I told him to get lost. I wanted to give him the finger or tell him to fuck off, but I felt such contempt for him that I just rode off. He was with a girl his age who wore a gingham dress. I don't care if he spoke English or not; who goes up to randomers almost twice their age, is rude to them and expects no consequences? People like that really piss me off, but it's nice to know that wherever I go I will be made fun of. Not. I really shouldn't let it get to me; after all my life has been filled with bullying and unnecessary cruelty. I fail even at toughening up. I previously considered the fact that I'd make a better boy than a girl with my stupid ungainly muscly figure and height and large feet, but my cowardice would mean I'd make as crap a boy as I do a girl.
I'll feel so lost when I finish watching Kenshin. And I really, really wish I could create something worthwhile..
Are you from Europe? I'm just a bit confused since you mentioned Asia and all..
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry people are unnecessarily rude to you, because you don't deserve it, no one does.
I was born in England and moved to Singapore when I was 2. We moved back to England in 2003/4 and live here currently... quite a lot of moving I suppose.
ReplyDeleteI always thought that if I changed my appearance, had my hair permanently straightened and went to the gym to lose weight then people would have no reason to make fun of me, but it must be either something in my face that I can never change or my skin colour. No one should have to be made fun of in such a way, no matter who they are, it's so demeaning. If I were a different person I'd probably toughen up to have a really foul mouth and just swear at everyone who wronged me, or fight them, but I'm not a guy or that kind of girl.
You don't need to fight people, but you have the right to be mad! From what I know about you, and i've probably said this already, you're a genuine person and not anything like what you describe. I guess appearances aren't as important to me as common interests and such.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I wish more people I knew and have met were like you. It seems nowadays culture is based on first impressions and people's person opinions of what a person looks like and therefore must be like. Call a man a thief and he will steal, etc. I had a friend who went anorexic a few years ago and another girl and I were trying to tell her that what you eat or how fat you are doesn't matter, it's your happiness and what is on the inside that counts most of all, but because of her illness and her beliefs she would not be persuaded. Appearances never mattered to me before, it was always the other kids.
ReplyDelete